Mortal Instruments, Books 1-3 (From the Vault)

This is another piece that was removed during the transition to the new site. I personally find this review to be hilarious, and my views on the Mortal Instruments haven’t changed one bit. Sorry! Anyway, enjoy.

The Mortal Instruments (1-3): Book Review Retrospect.

Editor’s Note: So you know how I promised a book review a loooong time ago? It’s finally done. Welcome to “This Book Sucks and we’re Going to review it.”

Other Editor’s Note: The politically correct title is, “This Book is Debatable and We Will Have an Argument About It.”

V: Let me make this clear. I hate these books. There’s a reason why I’ve never gotten to Book 4. You know why? I hate it.

E: Granted, the first books were extremely poorly written, but the story was good and the characters were likable.

V: It’s never a good sign when you can’t remember the main character’s name. Like literally, 5 months after I finished book three, I couldn’t remember her name. I confused her with the author. You don’t see me confusing Joanne Rowling and Harry Potter, now do you? NO.

E: Very true. However, the plot is engaging and the setting is intriguing and unique.

V: Can you actually name the city the story took place in? The Angel City, not Brooklyn.

E: Yes I can. It takes place in the city of Brooklyn and in the…

V: Time’s up!

E: *after googling to refresh my memory* IDRIS!!! I remember.

V: You know where the Hunger Games is? Harry Potter? Yes? So why does it take you so long to remember the setting for a series you claim to love?

E: It remains difficult to remember certain aspects of a book when you’re reading many other books at the same time. In addition, having only read three of the Mortal Instrument books, I haven’t had it ingrained into my mind as much as Hunger Games (which was emotionally scarring) and Harry Potter (which was seven books).

V: That’s a horrible excuse. How long did it take you to have HOGWARTS engraved into your mind? Maybe the moment Hagrid spoke the word?

E: The point is, that although I have a bad memory, the setting is still very well developed and described and is very easy to remember (not necessarily the name). Moving on…

V: NOPE. Describe it for me, without using Google.

E: Well, it isn’t very difficult to describe Brooklyn because a lot of people already know what it looks like. Something I can describe for you however, is the Institute. It is glamoured to appear from the outside as a run-down building. but in reality, IT IS A MASSIVE SHADOWHUNTER HOUSE OF DOOM AND DESTRUCTION (somewhat resembling a cathedral) THAT HAS AN ELEVATOR AND MEDICAL WING AND LIBRARY AND ROOMS AND WEAPONS ROOMS. As for Idris…

V: Not very descriptive, I say I win.  

E: This is not a matter of winning or losing. It is a discussion of opinions.

V: Fair enough. What about the characters. What do they look like? All of the important? I want more than general hair descriptions or that they’re “short or hot”.

E: Well, on the topic of Harry Potter. Anyone could say that he is defined by his lightning scar as many could say Jace could be said to be defined by his gorgeous hair and many runes that indicate him as a shadow hunter. On the same note, it is not completely necessary to be able to describe the characters in every little detail. The point is that their character can be related to and people like (but also in some ways dislike) them.

V: Fair enough. I say we each get a point and move on with our lives, or in this case, the review.

E: Sounds good.

V: I’m not going to lie, the Mortal Instruments has an interesting main plot. There are, however, multiple side plots which take away from the story, and in my opinion, Cassandra Clare fails to execute the main plot well.That is to say… she isn’t the best writer.   

E: At first, post-reading City of Bones and City of Ashes, I agreed with you. However, I think her writing drastically improved throughout the third book and her development of the plot was a lot better as well. The first and second book were definitely considerably weak in comparison.

V: Maybe that’s true, I don’t know. I felt like book three was in the same level of writing as Books One and Two; a shinier turd, if you will. Of course, any turd is a bad one… and seeing as we’re discussing ONLY TMI 1, 2, and 3, that’s all we can base judgement on.

E: I would say that the third one definitely compensated for the first and second one combined. Many people would say that it was the best out of the three and many agree (including me) that it should’ve just ended there. But of course. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

V: Are you saying there shouldn’t be a book 4, 5, and 6?

E: That remains to be seen.

V: Whatever, we’re drifting away from the point. Book three was considerably better, but let me put this in perspective; after the Legend of Korra Book 1 ended, we were all waiting anxiously for season 2… which ended up being rather… subpar, a blow for all of us. Season three blew that memory out of the water, but it didn’t mean that Book 2 stopped hurting. It was still pretty annoying, having Korra Book 2 being a part of the Avatar legacy. But the point is, it was a bad season out of 7, while TMI book 3 was a good one out of three. Adding two negatives and a positive doesn’t make it a positive.

E: Yet you are also mentioning that although the series had a very poor section, the overall series was still good. And as both of us have yet to read the last three books, it definitely has potential for becoming even better.

V: But we’re ONLY discussing TMI 1, 2, and 3. Books 4 and 5 and 6 are not part of the discussion. Perhaps we can return to that in the future.

E: Indeed, because I can see that you agree that it is a valid point. As we are moving on from this specific subject, I might ask what specifically do you not enjoy about these particular books? Is it Cassandra Clare’s writing style or the characters or…?

V: I didn’t like the characteristics of the characters, nor the writing style. I felt it was weak, but passable, at least.

E: Thank you for that insight.

V: Why, you’re welcome! I do love it when people give me compliments. But sideplots, you have to admit, do take away from the greater plot, ESPECIALLY the Clary-Jace I’m your sister I’m your girlfriend incest is wrong oh wait we’re not siblings okay lets have sex. That

part was annoying.

E: I definitely agree that this sideplot was extremely inconvenient and extremely annoying. That is in fact why I stopped reading the series the first time. I am glad however, that I decided to finish the third book because, as we mentioned earlier, it got SOO much better.

V: But when a SIDEPLOT makes you stop reading an entire series… can you really continue to defend it?
E: That is definitely a valid argument.

V: Do you have a counter?

E: Not really. Because I totally agree with it.
V: Okay then. Time for closing arguments- that is, if your opinion about the books has changed at all. For me, these books suck, even now, however, I cannot lie, they have a great plot, which was done okayish. You’ve enlightened me on that part. However, I can’t say that my opinion has really changed… honestly, expressing to you why I dislike the books only increases my hatred of the books.

E: I don’t believe my opinion on these books have changed as well. I just have been forced to reflect on why I originally didn’t like the book which only increases my like for the third one especially considering how much better it was than the first two. That is all I have to say for now. Thank you very much. I’m exhausted. This was fun. Good bye.

Editor’s Note 2: So yes, we finally got it out to you. It took kidnapping, ransom, and death threats, on both of our parts, but finally, its here. If you enjoyed this style of review, please leave a like and follow Assembled Creatively. Comment your thoughts about the book, this style of review, and who won.

Other Editor’s Note 2: So first of all, don’t arrest us. It was only some minor threats. And secondly, if you enjoy this type of thing, please consider following Assembled Creatively and my personal book blog (novelholiem) and lastly, please… Comment your opinion and what you thought of the book (as opposed to who you think won, because we all know who really did- clearly me). Thank you for reading 🙂


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